REVIEW: "the Book of Life" by Deborah Harkness

"Wild Card," you say, "Why didn't you post at all last week? Why have we been waiting for content since your last book review?"
THIS BOOK IS WHY. Like the last two books in the trilogy, I've been surreptitiously (and not) been reading this book since I did my last review. The only things that have kept me from this book are work, church, and sleep (and the last one may have been compromised by it). Though it doesn't go quite as quickly as the other two in the trilogy, I was still reading 125 pages a day at least (that's a record for me.)

So, real thoughts on The Book of Life?
First, SPOILER WARNING. (this is the third book in a trilogy. If you want to read it unspoiled, proceed with caution and maybe don't proceed at all).

Plot summary: Basically, this is the part where the pieces of Ashmole 782 finally get put back together and the Congregation and the Covenant are faced.
There are questions posed for Act 3: Are any of Matthew's children a threat? (Yes. Matthew's vampire-son, Benjamin, is, lightly speaking, a psychotic asshole of the rape-and-murder variety.) What will the Congregation do about Diana and Matthew's relationship? Are Peter Knox and Gerbert the Vampire going to continue being assholes until the end? (Yes, but someone has to).
There are prior questions answered as well: what is blood rage? What determines which vampire manifests the traits and which vampire is a carrier? How are weavers made, and why is Diana a weaver and not a normal witch? (an interesting answer awaits these two). What does the Book of Life actually say?

There are a lot of answers to a lot of questions. The Book of Life is a fast-paced conclusion to the series, and I loved almost every page, especially because Diana does a lot of saving people by the end of it.

I say "almost" because there are a few issues. SPOILER WARNING REMINDER.



Firstly, Gallowglass. I love this vampire to death, and I wish his plot arc could have ended better. It appears that he fell in love with Diana in 1590, but it wasn't clear whether he was in love or he had actually hoped to mate with her later on. Part of me was wondering whether this would be a situation similar to Twilight, where an ancillary love interest (Jacob) spends a lot of time with the heroine while she's pregnant; it turns out that the heroine's daughter is Jacob's One True Life Partner. Though the process of vampires choosing thier One True Life Partner is not fully explored in the All Souls Trilogy (when the main couple are fully consenting adults, mating only needs to be explained as Somewhat More Than Marriage), I'm a little bit curious as to why Gallowglass's feelings are brought up at all. Is it possible for a vampire to mate when the other being is still a zygote? If so, has Gallowglass actually developed feelings for one of Diana and Matthew's twin children when they're still fetuses? Are his feelings just a reason for Gallowglass to agree to be Diana's bodyguard when Matthew is out?
Given that Gallowglass does have feelings for Diana, it makes sense that he isn't present in the epilogue. I do wish that he could have been there, though.

Secondly, the climax. I can handle a moderate amount of bodily harm in fiction, but there were moments when I felt gross. That, like nothing else, showed how much of a psychotic asshole Benjamin could be. The climax was good for a few reasons: two of Diana's struggles were overcome (lack of magic and hesitating before killing), the fact that she saves Matthew and not the other way around, that Benjamin got a truly fitting death, and that Diana was able to face and run the Congregation.

Thirdly, the ending. Some of it seemed too perfectly wrapped-together. The revocation of the Covenant, which really needed to be revoked, was very good and fitting, but there didn't seem to be enough of a price. Yes, Diana was exhausted and absorbed the Book of Life and all that, but what are the ill effects of that? All it really seems is that now Matthew can truly say to their children, "Pay attention to your mother, because she really does know everything." Though the scientific exploration of creatures is interesting, it just feels too well-wrapped.


The duration of the story into the third act, though, is great. The biggest drawback I can think of is that these books are really heavy and I can't always take them everywhere.
Definitely check them out if you have the chance.

A Review of Exercise

Exercise is one of those things that I don't like doing, but I like having done. I might not necessarily enjoy "running" up really long hills. It might really suck having to clip my stride to attempt to do it. And don't get me started on non-running exercise - it sucks. I don't really have patience for yoga or ab-specific workouts. (Mind you, it's been a vicious cycle of not liking it so I don't do it, but the only way to like it is to do it). And, of course, I'm also really self-conscious about my abs.
Exercise is necessary. Physical exercise, for sure, but also mental exercise. Memory games and all. Maybe that's why I appreciate the daily crosswords I have access to on the Subway - there's free newspapers in there. (The city provides the free, quick paper by every Subway station I've been to. It's small, and provides short articles and a crossword, a SuDoKu, and a Scrabble thing.)
So, what do I think of exercise as a whole?
It sucks, but do it anyway.

BOOK REVIEW: "The Professor and the Madman" by Scott Westerfield

Right, I know this is really late, but it's not as late as the Hitchhiker's Guide review. I should probably not judge as harshly until something is promised for a full month until it is delivered upon.

Anyway, this is the review of The Professor and the Madman: a Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary by Scott Westerfield. Don't be daunted by the title. It's probably the most incomprehensibly rambling part of the book. The book is, indeed, about a bit of murder, a good chunk of insanity, and pretty much entirely about how those two things contribute to the Oxford English Dictionary.
The Madman (also the murderer, but that's not important.... not really, anyway) is Dr. William Chester Minor, an American who served in the Civil War as an army surgeon. The madness led him to delusions, which led him to the unfortunate path of murder and being subsequently locked up in an insane asylum for most of the rest of his life.
The Professor is James Murray, who eventually takes on the project of defining all the words in the English language. Not some of the words. Not the super rare words that are only interesting for people who want to sound smart. Not the remotely vague words for people who need to learn new things. The goal of the project he took one was to locate and define every single word in the English language. This includes regular words, new words, old words, words that are super obscure, and words that came about in 888 AD and were never seen again after 1000 AD. Though the project's editor kept saying, "Oh yes, it'll be done in ten or eleven years," you can see why he had to say that seven times over.
How these two relate is interesting. The professor sent out a general call for assistance; after all, defining every single word ever in the English Language is not something to be taken on alone. Dr. Minor saw the summons and, since he was one of patients that got really nice treatment (he got several rooms, lots of visiting hours, and was allowed to have a whole bunch of books with him), he responded to it. That's the short story, anyway. Read the book for the full story; it's really interesting.

I really liked this book. Westerfield puts the story in a narrative sort of style; he tells this as a story instead of a series of facts. I don't know if this is standard for a history book, but my familiarity is more with textbooks that do the series-of-facts approach. As a cool addition to the narrative, Westerfield starts every chapter with one or two vocabulary words in the form of a dictionary entry; frequently these words (or some action associated with them) show up int the chapter. My new favorite word came from one of these entries - sesquipedalian (it means "polysyllabic" or "loquacious," depending on the context.) I appreciate this book mostly because it contextualizes the massive effort it would have taken to write a dictionary. People don't normally think of dictionaries as being written; they just seem to be there, and then you add words like "selfie" to them, but Shakespeare didn't have any dictionaries to look up new words. (This could be why Shakespeare made up so many new words).

In all, I would definitely recommend this book for anyone who is interested in gaining a new appreciation for the English language and dictionaries as a whole.

The Long-Awaited Review

GUESS WHAT I'M FINALLY REVIEWING TODAY? The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams.

I wish I could say it doesn't normally take me half the summer to read a book that's barely 200 pages long and fairly enjoyable when I do read it, but it's not exactly a rare occurance. That being said, this review is very much going to be based on what I remember of the bits and pieces of the book.

Hitchhiker's Guide is about Arthur Dent, who gets swept away from Earth by his friend Ford Prefect, just before Earth's destruction by aliens trying to build a highway. From there, the two join up with a bunch of crazy characters - Zaphod Beeblebrox the two-headed ex-hippie, his human girlfriend Trillian, Marvin the brilliant but chronically morose robot, and other crazy characters. They travel across the galaxy on the run from the law, riding on an improbable spaceship obtained by illicit means.

WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THIS BOOK:

1) the humor.

This book is full of wit that's very dry, quite British, and really funny. Often this can point out important things in general. On the first page, the narration notes that most people were unhappy on Earth, and "many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy." There are little asides that add humor to the whole thing - page two sets the date as "one Thursday nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be for everyone to be nice to each other for a change..." Also, dolphins and mice are smarter than everyone expects, and the answer to the meaning of "life, the universe, and everything" is 42, after 7.5 million years and the realization that there was not actually a question posited in the first place.

2) Marvin the Robot.

Normally I don't laugh at sad people, but Marvin is the exception. Many of his statements begin with "Brain the size of the planet and they make me do [insert menial task]." My favorite Marvin quote comes near the end - he waited for the Participants in Main Action to come back, so "I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged into [the police ship's] external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the universe to it... And it committed suicide." (214). I know that's very morbid, but that's very much Marvin's personality. (Apparently he's voiced by Alan Rickman in the movie, which I really want to see now.)

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE ABOUT THE BOOK:

1) I don't know if it was just the fact that it took me several weeks to read this book, but some of the middle bits weren't very memorable. It's hard to remember exactly which bits I can't remember, but it seemed to drag a bit in some points. 

2) I would have liked a bit more from the actual Hitchhiker's Guide (it's an actual book in the book), since it does loan the novel its title.

In all, though, pretty good book, even though it took me forever to read. Next time, I'm doing The Professor and the Madman.

REVIEWS!!!

Soooooo I'm a dummy and didn't read a book for this week, so that's getting relegated to FRIDAY this time. (Hopefully two days is enough to catch up on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).  Anyway, this Wednesday I'm going to talk about something that I have very little experience with, and that is MAKEUP, because I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO REVIEW TODAY.

I don't have a long history of makeup.  I only started wearing it regularly when I started attending college - and by 'regularly,' I mean 'on average, once a week; a bit more now that it's summer and I have time and resources.'  As I just finished my second year, my experience is still very limited. Keep that in mind. That being said, these are a few things that I have used and like; this includes makeup-y stuff and other things dealing with personal care (frequently aimed at women and priced way too high). All specific products are linked in the titles. None of this is sponsored.

1. SHANY GEL EYELINER
This is a thing my mom gave me for my birthday this year, and I actually really like it. I've only ever done liquid, pencil, or crayon liners before now - in other words, things that wield like a pencil. That being said, it is not that hard to get used to a brush.
I like this set for a few reasons. First of all, it gives you a bunch of color options, which is really nice, especially when I'm just in my room and trying to figure out what color is supposed to look good on me. Additionally, each little container of eyeliner is fairly small, so it's really nice for traveling. The colors stay on quite well (this is a good thing for me, because I have a tendency to touch my eyes a lot). Also, my eyes have a tendency to get irritated if I accidentally leave eyeliner or something on overnight, but that doesn't happen as much with this brand. This company is also nice because it doesn't do animal testing.
If you want eyeshadow-y stuff, go here. Their general website is here.

2. REVLON COLORBURST MATTE BALM
I'm not really a lip-color kind of person. It's partially because the whole "WHAT SHADE IS RIGHT FOR YOU?" question is even more confusing to me than it is when it comes to eyeshadow; the other part is that I don't necessarily like the feeling of lipstick, based on what I've had in shows. That being said, I like this. I don't wear this often, but I like it because it feels like lip balm, but it's not! I have no idea if this is the right color for my face, or whatever, but I like it. It's available in most drug stores, but the link in the heading for this bit is to the Revlon site.

3. SIMPLE FACE WASH
I have two of these: the SMOOTHING FACIAL SCRUB (the exfoliating one) and the MOISTURIZING one. They're really nice. I'm no expert of Face Wash Stuff, or what you're supposed to do with this, but I'm trying to switch off and use the moisturizer one night and the exfoliating one the next. So far, it seems to be doing well enough. I've gotten a little more acne, but I'm hoping that bringing in the exfoliating one is going to help with that. What's really nice is that this, too, has no animal-based ingredients. There's also an environmental concern that some brands have these EXFOLIATING BEADS in their face wash that are actually terrible for the environment; this avoids that by using rice granules instead. The link above is to the main website, but I got mine at Rite-Aid.

4. SUGAR SCRUBS - WHISPERING SPRINGS FARMS
So I was first introduced to sugar scrubs through my fraternity - we did small sugar scrubs as fundraisers for the last two semesters. They're designed as exfoliants, but you need to take really long showers because you're basically shaving your legs twice - once to get the hair off, and once after you've rubbed on the scrub so you can shave off all the dead skin. You'd think sugar scrubs would leave your skin feeling gross, but there's different sorts of oils in it - this one has coconut oil and vitamin E, and is scented with lemon. I've only used it once, because COMMUNITY SHOWERS (I respect the other people enough not to leave as much hair as I could), but it makes your legs feel super nice. They're especially useful in winter, when your skin gets dry and gross.







THIS IS THE END OF THE POST. I WILL HAVE A BOOK ON FRIDAY AND ON WEDNESDAY. SEE YOU THEN.

Reviewing Commercials

I'm home for the weekend! HUZZAH! This means that, aside from seeing my friends and boyfriend and family, I'm crocheting and watching TV - specifically, America's Next Top Model reruns. For Friday Reviews, I'm reviewing the commercials, not the material.

KOHL'S
Why would I shop late or wake up early to shop 20% off? Also, my dad doesn't wear Nikes, or use electronics, and I think he has functional razors. Also, I already got him something.

KY INTENSE
Adorable animation. Why are you advertizing lube with animation?

DAVID'S BRIDAL
If I were getting married ever, I'd definitely go for your $99 sale.

COVERGIRL
I do not want to insta-glam myself with your Insta-Bomshell mascara to Instagram you, Katy Perry.

MINUTE MAID DROPS
I already drink Mio, thanks.

PAYLESS
I have sandals, so I don't need to buy more half off.

STACY'S PITA CHIPS
Yes, I understand that it's difficult to make your pita chips, but why are you telling me the recipe?

KLEENEX
Cool use of color transits and animation, but I don't know why your packaging is relevant to your product.

CREDITKARMA
I don't want free credit scores, though the 'we're saving for a house' ad is better than the 'super corny game show' ad.

FIOS
I'm pretty sure we already have FiOS...

ENCORE DENTAL
Self employed? Retired? No dental insurance? Call these people! I should probably go to the dentist. But no, I would not like to use your TV ad to call you.

SISTERHOOD OF HIP-HOP ON OXYGEN
um... sounds interesting, but I don't know why I would watch a show about it.

BAD GIRL'S CLUB CHICAGO
I don't want to see other people make fools of themselves... not too much, anyway.

"The Fault In Our Stars" review

Before I do this, let me preface this by saying a few things:
1. this is my first real review. Please be forgiving.
2. I've been putting this off to go back over the book a second time. Guess what I didn't do? I did write down what I liked/ disliked, but it was a few days after I'd read it. Keep that in mind. I'll do better next time, honest.
3. I tend to be biased in favor of the positive. Think I'm over-praising something? Let me know; just do what I didn't and reread the book first.
4. There may be spoilers. You have been warned.

OFFICIAL REVIEW STARTS HERE

So this is a review of John Green's newest book, The Fault in Our Stars. Most of the time I don't read books that are primarily romances; in my limited experience with them, they tend to be corny, over-romanticize the love interest, and provide situations that sometimes violate the suspension of disbelief. This may be because my primary experience with romance novels include the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer and a lot of Meg Cabot novels, but it could be that romances are often written with those goals in mind.
That being said, The Fault in Our Stars does very little of that.
PLOT SUMMARY: Hazel Grace Lancaster, Age 16, has cancer and is very aware of her mortality. Augustus Waters then comes into her Cancer Kids Support Group one Wednesday night, and nothing is the same. Until the end.
ADDED SPOILER: In the end, Augustus dies.

That is a terrible summary, but I'm going to do the analysis stuff. THERE MAY BE SPOILERS.

GOOD STUFF:

1. I really like Hazel's voice. Like good character development, Hazel's is subtle, until a moment of crisis occurs. In the beginning, she's all, "blargh de blargh i don't want to do anything i just want to sit on the couch and watch dumb TV and read this one book boiajo;efiwao;i...." Near the end, however, she has started hanging out more with Augustus and Isaac (their other friend), partly because Augustus's condition has worsened. It gets to the point where her parents ask her to stay home one night; after an argument, she basically tells them that she's going off because someone she cares about is GOING TO DIE SOON AND SHE WANTS TO GO SEE HIM.
2. People idolize others all the time - especially recluses who have done something great. Hazel is no different. After Hazel introduces Augustus to her favorite book, Augustus is able to get them both the chance to meet the author. Turns out the author is... not okay. Drunk, etc. The important twist in his story comes at the end. I'm not spoiling that, but it's an interesting way to rework the "Childhood Hero Turns Out To Be A Wreck" trope without it all coming out in that one important scene.
3. I like the humor. Hazel is very sarcastic and snarky, especially at the beginning; it's a blend that works for my sense of humor.

BAD STUFF

1. Like many romance novel heroes, Augustus is a bit pretentious for most of the novel. This is partially why the end of his storyline is so saddening, but I wasn't sure I liked him for the first part of the book.
2. I don't know how much Cancer Wish Foundations can pull off, but I don't know whether they would pull off Augustus's wish.
3. Sometimes it was difficult to figure out how much time had passed. This may be due to my lack of a second reading, but I don't know if someone would take me to meet J.K. Rowling, John Green, or Patrick Rothfuss after a few weeks of possible dating. (I don't think my boyfriend would do that, and we've been dating for a solid three years).

Right, I know this is super rough, but I'm still muddling through How To Write A Review Without Going Into English Major Mode. Thanks for reading; come back on Friday!

Updates and Stuff

Firstly, my apologies for missing Monday's post.  In my defense, I was being a nerd with my boyfriend. On Monday, we went to a local bookstore and then, after we got books, we went to a local tea shop and read for a while. Then we went back to my house and played Mario Kart. Yes, that is how we date.

Anyhow, tagging off of that, I now have two new books: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (just the first one - apparently it's a series?). I have made an executive decision (as of about twelve seconds ago when I decided to type that) to do Wild Card Reviews - in this case, books. If I don't wind up reading enough to do 2-3 reviews a week, I'm going to review things like classes and events and anything I happen to buy until the end of summer term in mid-July.

Since I have missed posting several times, I will try to adjust my posting schedule to a Monday/ Wednesday/ Friday. This will continue to the end of summer term. Monday and Friday will be reviews, and Wednesday will be whatever I feel like writing about.

That being said, I shall post again on Monday with a review of The Fault in Our Stars.