Reviewing Commercials

I'm home for the weekend! HUZZAH! This means that, aside from seeing my friends and boyfriend and family, I'm crocheting and watching TV - specifically, America's Next Top Model reruns. For Friday Reviews, I'm reviewing the commercials, not the material.

KOHL'S
Why would I shop late or wake up early to shop 20% off? Also, my dad doesn't wear Nikes, or use electronics, and I think he has functional razors. Also, I already got him something.

KY INTENSE
Adorable animation. Why are you advertizing lube with animation?

DAVID'S BRIDAL
If I were getting married ever, I'd definitely go for your $99 sale.

COVERGIRL
I do not want to insta-glam myself with your Insta-Bomshell mascara to Instagram you, Katy Perry.

MINUTE MAID DROPS
I already drink Mio, thanks.

PAYLESS
I have sandals, so I don't need to buy more half off.

STACY'S PITA CHIPS
Yes, I understand that it's difficult to make your pita chips, but why are you telling me the recipe?

KLEENEX
Cool use of color transits and animation, but I don't know why your packaging is relevant to your product.

CREDITKARMA
I don't want free credit scores, though the 'we're saving for a house' ad is better than the 'super corny game show' ad.

FIOS
I'm pretty sure we already have FiOS...

ENCORE DENTAL
Self employed? Retired? No dental insurance? Call these people! I should probably go to the dentist. But no, I would not like to use your TV ad to call you.

SISTERHOOD OF HIP-HOP ON OXYGEN
um... sounds interesting, but I don't know why I would watch a show about it.

BAD GIRL'S CLUB CHICAGO
I don't want to see other people make fools of themselves... not too much, anyway.