The power of connotation and phrasing

Right, today is all about connotation and phrasing.
Why?
Because both of them are very important and are worth repeating.
For an example, my Mom loves to use the Midwestern Imperative (no offense to any midwesterners; this is just what she said it was called.  Anyway, what it is: "Do you want to set the table?" = *I want you to set the table* = "Set the table!").  I hate it when she does that, so therefore it almost always prompts the question, "Are you asking me or telling me?"  Frequently, I don't want to set the table for dinner.  In fact, if you see me willingly setting the table, be very, very worried.
On paper, the Midwestern Imperative will basically come off like someone is legitimately curious, and the connotation there is completely different.  If someone actually wants to know, "Do you want to set the table?"  It's probably because the query will be followed up by the phrase, "Because if you don't, I will."  (If Mom and I were in a novel, and she said that, I am, indeed, the sort of person who would say something akin to, "Sure, thanks, Mom, I'm just going to go write my novels and my blog posts now.  Call me when dinner starts.")
That use is generally if the scene was between two people of equal stature - brothers, roommates, spouses, etc.  But the context and subtext and connotation change if the scene is between Mom and her five-year-old Kid, and it changes again if Kid is now 15.
At my job this summer at my dojang, I worked with young kids - the dominant age range was 5-9.  For one girl in particular, when I had to do one-on-one stance work with her, I found myself asking her a lot, "can you do front stance?" which is similar to the Midwestern Imperative.  (I started out using the Midwestern Imperative a lot).  Maybe that's why she never did it at the start of the summer...

Anyway, the point of that story was the phrasing affected the connotation - it put the decision to do front stance in her power, just like using the Midwestern Imperative put dinner set-up/ clean-up activities in my power.  Usually they can work (with much effort) in person, but on paper you need to be careful.  Unless the person is one's irritating mother/ teacher/ stepmother/ person the addressee doesn't like (and the Villain doesn't count, unless the Villain is the Mother/ Teacher/ Stepmother), it can be taken out of context, like the asker actually wants to know.
So, basically, don't write it.