Final Weeks

My J-term class ends on Friday. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm excited that we're going to be on break and that spring semester is coming, but I'll be sad to see the excessive amount of time leave.
More relevant, I'm also not sure how I'm going to feel about the final product of the class. If there's one thing I've learned about my own writing process, it's that the editing part is never done. I have a measly seven scenes - I originally had eight, but one got cut before it got typed up - but all of the editing won't help my nerves, in the end.  Does the pacing work?  Are the characters relatable?  Will anyone be able to pronounce Siofra's real name?  Am I using too many cliches?  Is the timing right?  The list goes on.

I know the reason that I'm getting nervous about it, too - more nervous than my other writing.  It has nothing to do with my peers accepting it as decent work - that was what I had issue with at the beginning of the course, a long time ago when I only had to write five pages.  At this point, the trouble is me accepting it as decent work.  When you spend just as much time editing a piece as you do writing it (more time, actually), you tend to worry about it.  If this were a longer work, it would be like a child.  You want the best for it, but sometimes it gives you hell.  A lot of times, actually.  Some things you love to go over, other things you fear to even glance at.

Though this is not my longest work - it barely counts as 30 pages, even with the title page, the character list, and the page-happy formatting that a script must follow - it's still causing me a bit of worry.  In comparison to some other people in the class, I think I'll do fine, and I don't mind how it's written, but sometimes I wonder how it would turn out if I had done things differently.  I could have killed my main character.  I could have made the future relationship of two of my characters less ambiguous.  I could have made one character more sympathetic to the antagonistic party.

When it comes to it, though, I'm glad I had the chance to do this course.  It taught me how not to format a script, and it taught me what to look at and what to ask when going through the editing process.