Home

Home. You'd think four letters would be easy to define. There are definitions in the OED and plenty of other dictionaries, but it's not just "The place where a person or animal dwells," as the first definition in the OED suggests.
For me, home is where I feel safe and provided for. Of course, that applies to the place where I spent the first eighteen years of my life, and where I go during breaks from school. For the first two years of college, that also applied to whatever dorm I was living in, with the exception of two incidents in freshman year and one incident as a sophomore. To quote Pumbaa from The Lion King, I thought that "home is where your rump rests." That had always applied to me.
Last year was stressful, and not only because of classes. There were issues with friends, and my roommate's negative attitude started to affect my own: negativity is not something that's conducive to feeling at home.
So, for me, "home" is more than just where you go to sleep at night. My roommate this year still says that she's "going home" when she visits her parents every other weekend (they live very close), and I still say "I'm going home to work" when I have shifts at my ghost tour job. Do either of these instances count less as "home" than Room 129? Furthermore, when does Room 129 become more "home" than the houses our parents live in?
WILL it ever count as more "home"?

As I look to the future and when I will eventually have to move out of my parents' house and find a place of my own to stay, when will that place start feeling like home more than my parents' house? When I pay my own bills for eighteen years? When it's a place where I feel totally safe, and alone-but-not-lonely? When it's a place I've built up a life in?

There are some people who are turtles, and carry home on their backs. Maybe it's just easiest if I become one of those people.

This. Is. Senior. Year.

I sincerely apologize for neglecting the blog these last few weeks. I will attempt to resume posting three days a week - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I may post more or less than that, but we'll see.

This has been an interesting start to an academic year.

British Modernist Fiction involves analyzing James Joyce and realizing he mostly writes about religion, internalized misogyny, religion, politics, the steady march of time, and stage mothers.

Creative Nonfiction is memoir-writing. So far, I have written about How I Learned To Knit, and learned that my childhood recollection of How I Came To Harry Potter is a complete lie, and Why That Is Okay.

Greek History covers mostly the ancient periods, from the bronze age to the Classical era. This is maybe 3000 years, but we just passed the Dark Ages. They were called that because there is no real writing during the Dark Ages, so there's only Linear B fragments and myths of the Trojan War. There's also Heinrich Schliemann, who went on an archaeological dig for Homer's Troy. He dug too far and what could have been Homer's Troy is lost forever, and the artifacts were in Heinrich Schliemann's trash bins. Don't be Heinrich Schliemann.

Greek Philosophy is exactly what I expected. Lots of reading in dead languages about Plato's obnoxious word usage. It's actually really cool to learn the concepts he was trying to argue about - there wouldn't be Christianity if Plato didn't introduce the concept of the soul, for example. In Plato's day, there were good people and bad people, and what you see is what you get. It's perfectly justifiable to hurt those who have hurt you and help those who have helped you. But, Plato argues, is it not possible for good people to make stupid mistakes, and for bad people to act good? YOU MEAN THAT PEOPLE ARE COMPLEX???!!!??? THANKS, PLATO.

Communication Ethics hasn't gotten to too many topics yet. It'll be interesting to see the debates that spring up when we actually start getting into case studies, like Edward Snowden and Rolling Stone's UVA case last year.

Sooooooooo those are my classes. See you Wednesday!

Things I Learned This Summer

Well, I've moved into my room at school, almost all my textbooks are in, and classes start on Monday. This means only ONE THING: that it's time for Wild Card's List Of Things She Learned This Summer!

It is Acceptable to Have Fun at Your Older Brother's Wedding

It's supposed to be a good day. And if it is, HOORAY!

Try to Get a Summer Job

Even if it's working retail, you'll get some money and learn how to handle a lot of personalities and some kinds of stress that you may not be used to. If it's something you enjoy, like dressing up and telling stories, then even better!

Find Your Happy Place

I think this factors into a lifetime of work - if you can tolerate it most days, then HOORAY. If it's in a place you like, HOORAY!

If You're In a Position of Power...

During Gather at the River in early August, a particular bishop showed up. He has, apparently, a past filled with actions raging from "problematic if you look too hard" to "affecting at least one person's ordination process." He was not a welcome figure at Gather. But he came. And it was tense. But he said that he needed to hear what had been said.
I don't know much of his history with the LGBTQIA+ community, aside from his problems with it, but showing up at Gather at all had to take a lot of guts. If he was so moved, it can't have been for nothing.

Find A Good Series To Invest Your Fangirling Into

You don't have to watch or read EVERYTHING that gets recommended to you. You CAN, however, find a few things to geek out over if you want to. It's perfectly acceptable to find one or two REALLY GOOD THINGS.
It's also okay to move on from those things.
It's okay if those things are not the mainstream fun things. Just make sure you can summarize them for people who ask.

All-Nighters Suck

I think there's a reason that I don't study past 1:00 AM, as a rule. That reason is that all-nighters are AWFUL. They throw off your sleep schedule, and being tired and in class is not a good combination.






So these were just some of the things I learned this summer. If you learned anything cool, leave it in the comments!

Why I Won't Date A Vampire

Okay, so seeing as I've basically only read a vampire romance this summer, I'm going to take an opposite tack. Though Vampire Romance has been been propped up as a Thing to Definitely Do, I'm going to present some reasons Why I Won't.
This is taking into account the following information:
- the vampire in question is a male, at least 500 years old and 20s-30s at time of rebirth
- the vampire in question is stronger and faster than the normal human, and has a much lower body temperature
- the vampire in question does, on occasion, consume human blood to survive
- the vampire in question does not have an issue with sunlight, because that was invented fewer than 500 years ago

WHY WILD CARD WON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A VAMPIRE

1. RESIDUAL PATRIARCHY

Since this vampire is a male and passes as someone between the ages of 18 and 39, and probably first came into the world at a time when the patriarchy was all too rampant, he probably still has some of this thought process internalized. I understand that, to a degree, but I don't want to have to explain why feminism is a thing every single time I make a Big Kid decision without consulting my dad or brother or imaginary vampire boyfriend. I don't want him to assume that I'm going to bear his child - if that's biologically even feasible for us - just because I'm (presumably) a fertile female above the age of consent.

2. PHYSICAL INFERIORITY

I can't stand feeling like I'm weak. I KNOW I'm not the strongest person ever in any capacity - sometimes I still cry at shows and movies, and I can no longer do 300 push-ups in a day. On the other hand, I like to be able to do things for myself and carry my own weight when I must. In these situations, I often like the distribution of duties to be about equal. If a vampire is stronger and faster than I am, I'll start to get hard on myself for not being able to keep up, even though I know that I physically can't go at a vampire's pace. I don't want to deal with that. If it's a human who's a bit faster than me, then that's a challenge. If it's a vampire's pace, then that's impossible and I don't like acknowledging that impossibility.

3. INTELLECTUAL INFERIORITY

Since this vampire is at least 500 years old, he probably knows a whole lot of things about a great variety of subjects. This vampire could know LITERALLY EVERYTHING about history since he was born; for that reason, I would go on A SINGLE DATE (or A SERIES of dates) with him to pick his brain about Galileo and other important people, but I wouldn't like knowing that I'm the comparatively idiotic one of the pair. 

4. BLOOD LOSS

This one is kind of debatable, depending on how much human blood this vampire needs to survive. I don't want to put my own life at risk because I'm on my period and he hasn't fed in a while. (I assume we both would be able to tell these things and plan accordingly, but what if menstrual fluid is too close to actual blood? I don't want to think about these things; I assume no author does either, and that's why it's never addressed.)

5. MORTALITY

Let's get something straight: if I meet a vampire, and I got the chance to become immortal, I don't know if I would take it. Sometimes I need to have a "YOLO" mentality in order to be more productive than getting a high score on Candy Crush. I also get a bit of inferiority if I feel I'm "too bad" at something for too long. I know that growing old is the only way I'm going to get anything done with my life, but this person is 18-39 PERMANENTLY. Not only will I probably be jealous of his eternal good looks, but it will feel wrong if I'm 80 and in a romantic relationship with someone who looks 27.

The Impending End Of Summer (and college)

My last move-in day is fast approaching. In a week, I'll be at school again. I've never moved in at the 'normal upperclassman time' - I've always moved in around the same time as the freshmen, so I can help them get their things into their dorm. People did it for me, once, and now it's time to return the favor, three times over.

It's weird - this time three years ago, I was scared about what was on the horizon. I have similar feelings now, but for different reasons.

Then, as now, I was worried about what the future held. Would I like college? Would it be awful? Would it be amazing?

Now, I worry about what I'm going to do after college. Grad school? Work? If so, what job? What grad school? What program in school?

It's not like choosing is going to affect my future or anything. I was raised by an economist. I know about opportunity costs.

The fact of the matter is, I've always been the kind of person who dislikes the process of change. Often, once change has come I like the results. It seems I don't like being the instigator of change in my own life. I didn't break up with someone when I could. I didn't try for jobs when I could have. I can't stand putting myself forward for jobs. If I don't get over that, of course, I have to work retail the rest of my life. Nothing against retail, of course, but 10 hours a week doesn't pay anybody's bills, and doesn't help my goals.

Not that I have any goals.

So as I go into the last weeks before my last first day, I have a lot of thinking to do. About myself. About my future. About my writing. About a lot of things.

Hi again!

Hello awesome people. Wild Card is out of town, so she asked me to fill in for today. Yesterday, I finished reading Hungry, and I'm currently reading Thirteen Reasons Why. You can check out my review for Hungry here: http://booksmoviesandmore.net/2015/08/07/hungry/

On Packing for Trips

I've had the privilege of extensive traveling - I've been to seven countries outside my own, and I've been to many places in my home country. I'll be out of town this weekend, so I'm going to be writing on THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT PACKING.
Firstly, I think I've set an unreasonable standard for myself. When I went abroad (the Turkey and Greece trip) in January 2014, I was impressed with how well I had packed. I decided to embark on a two-week trip with my duffel bag weighing 9.25 pounds. Don't believe me? Here's the proof in kilos:

if you can't read the little red number, it says "4.2". Kilograms.

So, with a 4.2-kilogram bag to be used over the course of two weeks, I have set myself a new Light-Traveling Standard to be reached every time I leave home.

How is this attainable? READ ON!

1. You don't need a new pair of underwear for every single day.

One thing I learned on that two-week trip is the value of camping underwear and small amounts of laundry detergent. Camping underwear is designed to dry quickly and be very lightweight - if you get caught in a rainstorm, the underwear can dry overnight. If you're NOT backpacking, you can still get clean underwear. Just buy some reusable, travel-size bottles (usually found near the hairbrushes and hair ties, and sometimes in the "travel for $1" section), pour in some laundry detergent, and use a few drops in a sink full of water. Alternatively...

2. Doctor Bronner's solves everything.

Doctor Bronner's is an all-in-one cleaner - it's concentrated enough to clean pretty much everything. Three drops on a washcloth is good for a face wash. One small squirt in a sink is good for small-time laundry detergent. It's available in most drug stores near the body wash, and can substitute for your body wash, shampoo (if you're daring), laundry detergent, and probably a lot more. I didn't bring it abroad last year, but I wish I had.

3. Look up what you'll be doing.

I am one of the least-planning people to ever not plan things. It does help, though, to know generally what you'll be doing and what the dress code might be. You don't need to bring a pair of heels when you'll spend most of your time at archaeological sites - unless there's some kind of archaeological gala at the end of your trip. If there are several events that would merit dressing slightly better than normal, then bring a single nice outfit (ONE dress or ONE button-down and FLATS), and dress it up in different ways. If you feel comfortable with little to no makeup, then limit what you bring - sometimes, just a bit of eyeliner will work wonders. If you feel like you CAN'T be presentable without your full face of makeup on (which is totally fine), then try and only bring the materials for a simple day-to-day look, and maybe one standout item if you need to look really snazzy really quickly.

4. You probably only need one pair jeans.

Seriously. I know it sounds gross, but if you're not going to need a fancy outfit, then you don't need to bring more than one pair of trousers. Be careful about what you do in your jeans, and it won't be too big a deal. Just bring a few different lightweight shirts, and it'll be fine.

5. You don't need to bring your whole bathroom in three-ounce containers.

I am guilty of this. You don't need many hair products aside from water and a comb and something to clean it with. You don't need lotion, unless your hands get super chapped without it. If you do, buy some scented lotion and ditch the perfume. If you bring full-sized toothpaste, see if you can share with your roommate (I know it sounds weird, but it saves a lot of space). Travel size contact solution can last for three weeks (yes, really), so you don't need a huge container of it.

6. Be versatile in your wardrobe.

When you're only wearing one pair of jeans, this is kind of a given. Bring items that are lightweight and/ or can layer, and be thematic. Blazers are super versatile and can make any outfit look good, so if you need a jacket you can use that. If you bring two short-sleeve shirts and two long-sleeve shirts, you have eight days' worth of shirts. (4 shirts worn individually, and 4 combinations of shirts). If you need more variety than that, bring a few different jewelry pieces and a lightweight scarf. DO NOT BRING EXTRA SHOES WITHOUT NECESSITY.

7. Be versatile in your leisure items.

If you are going somewhere specifically to sit with a good book or a craft project, then you can go to your couch, or maybe a cabin in the middle of nowhere. If you AREN'T leaving to write the Next Great Epic, then you don't need much entertainment - read, puzzle, and sleep on the plane. Headphones are always useful, just remember the charger.

How To Date, According to Disney

This seems to be Fairy Tale Week here, so I'll round out the week (and the month!) by talking about DISNEY MOVIES!
Specifically, the "classic" Disney princesses - the ones that, as an under-ten-year-old-girl in the 1990s, I was the target demographic of. I think part of me still wants to have a "Disney romance," but that's seems to be different for every Disney couple (Really, though, I was kind of jealous of Belle's new library... and I was kind of jealous of Mulan in general...). I'm going to list dating advice I learned from Disney princess movies in my childhood - I'm cutting it off before the later movies (so no Tangled, Frozen, or Princess and the Frog.) Also, no sequels.

So, here it is, The Dating Guide for Official Disney Princesses! (In order of Movie's Release Date)

Snow White

Summary: In order to attract her One True Love, Snow White makes a wish in a well to finally meet her prince, and it works! Then her stepmother tries to kill 14-year-old Snow White via the apple, but the prince wakes her up with a kiss and they live happily ever after.
Dating Lesson: Wish in wells whenever possible, talk to creepy-looking strangers, and make sure to get kissed a lot. Especially at age 14.

because nothing says "let's get married" than making out with a sleeping teenager.

fanpop.com.

Cinderella

Summary: 19-year-old Cinderella befriends the mice in her home, because nobody else is nice to her. The mice and the fairy godmother help Cinderella get into a super rad ball gown and escort her to the royal ball.

#TransformationTuesday

Cinderella enchants everyone, including the prince, but she has to to run off at midnight and not give him any contact information. On the way out, she loses a shoe, but she's moving too fast to get it back. Prince Charming uses the shoe to find the girl, and then they get married.
Dating Lessons: don't let someone see you in a dress that isn't super rad. Shoes are a very good way to tell who your future spouse should be. Also, definitely get married to someone you don't have the contact information of.

Sleeping Beauty (Aurora)

Summary: As a baby, Princess Aurora is cursed to die sleep for forever when she pricks her finger on a spindle at 16. She is raised in the forest by three fairies, as far away as far as possible from any spindles. She runs into a prince with a good singing voice, and they fall in love. Her sixteenth birthday rolls around, she does the pricky-thing, and Phillip saves her from Maleficent, and wakes Aurora with a kiss. They promptly get married.

good singing solves everything! (source)

Dating Advice: if someone has a good singing voice, you should definitely get married. Especially if they save you from a dragon. But mostly, judge them on their singing voice.

The Little Mermaid (Ariel)

Summary: Ariel the mermaid falls in love with Prince Eric, and saves him from a shipwreck. Ariel goes to Ursula, the sea witch, where she swaps her fantastic singing voice for a pair of legs. Ariel then spends the rest of the film trying to seduce Eric and get him to kiss her and break Ursula's spell. It nearly doesn't work, until it does.
Dating Advice: Give up your greatest asset to be with the person you love, even if they don't realize it at all. Despite popular belief, communication is NOT key to any relationship.

If he doesn't get the hint now, I don't think he will. (source)

Beauty and the Beast (Belle)

Summary: The Beast (A.K.A. Prince Adam) was a whiny 11-year-old who wouldn't let a fairy in from the cold, so the fairy cursed him into an ugly beast. If he didn't find true love by 21, then he would stay ugly and awful FOREVER. Then Belle comes along, and is clever enough to argue with him and nice/ pretty enough to bring out Adam's good side. He gives her a library to show his affection, and then they have a super-fancy two-person dance party. Conflict ensues, everyone nearly dies, but then they don't. Belle and Adam get married.

When in doubt, get your girlfriend a library. (source)

Dating Lessons: Be patient, don't be mean, and and never underestimate the power of libraries.

Aladdin (Jasmine)

Summary: Aladdin is a charming street rat. He and Jasmine fall in love after he shows her a "whole new world" via a magic carpet. Then Jafar tries to marry Jasmine, but then he doesn't. Aladdin and Jasmine get married instead, since the Sultan changes the law to allow the princess to choose her own spouse.
Dating Advice: show your potential partner an entirely new world, lie a bit about your financial situation, and keep them out of a bad marriage to a vengeful vizier by being a charming young person close to her in age.

Of course, good abs help. Also, wearing a fez. Fezes are cool. (source)

Pocahontas

Summary: One day, Pocahontas is totally chill, diving off cliffs and pranking her friends. The next, she's singing about the wind with John Smith, who definitely didn't come to take the land, "fix" the people, and dig for gold. He also nearly killed Pocahontas, but she stood mysteriously in the mist and then sang to him about the wind, so John decided it was a bad idea.

INTENSE STARING CONTEST!! (source)

Then they try to fix racism. John Smith is shot and nearly dies, but doesn't. They don't get married, because John has to go back to England for Western Medical Help.
(A/N: this post is about Fictional Dating, but I assume we all understand that Disney's portrayal of these two characters is a Fictional Relationship, and not intended to be a historical account of the events of 1608/9.)
Dating advice: Stare eerily into the mist at the other person. Sing about the wind and nature. Don't kill the other person's family, nor instruct your family members to do so. Also, don't be racist.

Mulan

Summary: Mulan's father gets summoned to go to war, but he's old and weak and it's inadvisable for him to fight. Mulan dresses up as a guy and goes instead, posing as his son. She does this for two reasons: family honor, and not being able to get into an arranged marriage, since she's kind of a klutz. While at war, Mulan meets her captain, Li Shang, and is promptly intimidated.

doesn't help that she sucks at archery. (source)

Eventually, Mulan saves the captain, the emperor, and the country, and their relationship culminates with my two favorite Disney Relationship Moments:
1. "You... you fight good." - Shang
2. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" - Mulan
"Would you like to stay forever?" - Mulan's grandma
Dating Advice: When in doubt, save his life. If you want to start an actual conversation with him, leave your helmet somewhere he can find it and make sure he knows where to return it to you. Then you can ask him out to dinner. Of course, fighting in a war together makes you learn a fair amount about each other, I'd assume.



So there you have it! Now, go out and get ALL THE FUTURE SPOUSES!

Fairy Tale Questions part 2

Yesterday, I wrote a series of questions for characters in Grimm's Fairy Tales. Today, I'm doing it again with Briar Rose/ Sleeping Beauty.

For the Queen and King: Dear Queen, if a talking frog comes up to you and tells you that you will have a child in a year, what cause do you have to believe that frog? Why are you not surprised by the premonition-filled frog? Why are you not at all surprised that a frog cornered you in the bathroom and started talking? Is this normal frog behavior?
Dear King, is there a reason that you only invested in 12 golden plates for 13 old wise women? If you're so overjoyed about your daughter's birth that you're inviting PRACTICALLY EVERYONE, then surely you can invest in a few more plates? Especially if it could ensure your child's well-being, since this may well be the only child you have? Also, after the curse, I understand that you want to burn all dangers to your child; that's probably a natural parent thing. But it COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU HAD INVESTED IN MORE PLATES.
To the Wise Women: How does one bestow virtue, beauty, riches, and other important life goals? Is it a perk of being an old, wise lady? Is this what I have to look forward to when I get older?
To the Thirteenth Wise Lady: I understand that you're mad that you didn't get invited to the party. I'd get mad too, especially with an excuse so flimsy as "we didn't have enough gold plates." But is it really logical to say "die, child, die?" Killing people does not solve your problems.
To the Prince: You're going to trust a random local for your next quest? REALLY? "Oh, this wall of hedges hasn't been penetrated in close to 100 years, and it's killed everyone who's tried so far? TIME TO GO FOR A QUEST!!!" Also, I understand that Briar Rose is pretty, and I assume that the spell had no effect on aging on anyone in the castle. But did the spell affect the amount of dirt and dust that would get caked up? If it didn't, why would you kiss someone who is covered in dust and apparently dead? Are characters in German folklore just really into necrophilia?

Questions I Have For Fairy Tales

Recently, I rediscovered my copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales. I've got a few questions about motives for some of the more famous stories.

Snow White

To Snow White's father: why do you want to marry someone who is "proud and haughty, that... could not bear any one to be better-looking than herself"? Is that really a role model you want to have for your one-year-old daughter? Also, is that really someone you want in your life?
To Snow White's stepmother: Why do you want to kill your stepdaughter? According to the story, she outstrips your prettiness at the age of SEVEN. No matter how attractive a seven-year-old is, you have at least six years before you need to worry about her attracting too many people. If she does attract the wrong kind of people, you have the power to smite them. You can do it in the name of "I was just protecting my young stepdaughter," even if you really feel that they should have been paying attention to you. Also, why are you so worried about being attractive? And is a pretty face really worth killing people over? Also, why try and poison someone through their hair? Is that even possible?
To the Dwarves: The first thing you say about SEVEN-YEAR-OLD Snow White is "what a beauty she is!" Why is that? Why not ask, "Why is there a seven-year-old girl sleeping in the bed of Dwarf #7?" Also, why do you ask a seven-year-old to do your housework? And why do you leave her alone when you know there's a threat of Evil Stepmothers? ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE ALMOST DIED TWICE.
To the Prince: This young girl in a glass case is DEAD. Why are you so interested in taking possession of said glass case? I respect that you are willing to honor and protect her so long as you live, but why? Are you into necrophilia AND pedophilia? If so, are you sure that the king's daughter is the best choice for partner? I know she's the prettiest in the land and all, but have you researched the possible legal ramifications of making a partner out of the king's dead daughter? Would you really want to risk a war between kingdoms over a dead seven-year-old? Also, how old are you?

Cinderella

To the stepfamily: I understand the sentiment when you say, "They who would eat bread must earn it," but why don't you do any chores? Also, after years of work, why don't you let Cinderella have a night off? Stepmother, what's with the challenge of Picking Things Out of the Fireplace before Cinderella can go to the festival? Don't you know by now that Cinderella hangs out with birds? Also, I understand your logic when you say Cinderella can't go to the festival because "you have no clothes, and you cannot dance; you will only be laughed at," but whose fault is that really?
Also, Cinderella does change into fancy clothing before going to the festival, but it says nothing of washing her face. How do you not recognize her when she's been dirty for so many years?
I'm sure that queens don't have to walk much, but is cutting off your heel or toe really a good idea to get a man? What if you just happen to marry someone who wants their wife to have an active role?
To the father: Surely you realize the abuse that your daughter is going through? Why don't you do something about it? Did you practically disown her? Why did you not keep up a relationship with her? How did you not recognize your own daughter at the festival when you've known her for HER WHOLE LIFE? When the prince asks, why do you have so little faith that your own child can be amazing? Given that, why weren't you "smitten with blindness" at the end, too?
To the king: Are you sure that a three-day festival is the best way for your son to meet a high-quality spouse? Do you expect the marriage to last longer than three days?
To the prince: I applaud your gentlemanly behavior when you offer to see Cinderella home safely. But don't you think she comes off as a little crazy when she runs off into a pigeon-house the first night and a pear tree the second night? Also, if you don't know where she's from, can't you just say, "I really like you, tell me more about yourself. Where are you from?"
That way, you don't have to "spread the whole way with pitch" so her shoes will come off. I applaud your thinking on this front, but are shoes really the best identifier? Why not hair? "If you have hair that matches this color and a weird empty-hair spot in the back of your head, you just might be my future spouse!"