Well, once again, it's super late and I'm unsure about what to post about. Though this week has been quite nice - I've gotten a lot of things together, including summer ideas (the internship didn't work out) and other day-to-day things. I've also caught up on sleep, which is nice. I've also explored a lot of recipes that can be made in mugs. (Lime cake (based off of lemon cake because we don't have lemon extract) is good).
I think the main thing I need to realize is that I need to break out of my shell more. I know that's a really strange statement to make, but I think I've had a perpetual issue with shyness. I don't talk to people sometimes, even though I sometimes want to. I know my mother, at least, is frustrated with it and wants it to stop because it can sometimes hinder things (why don't I just go into the business office and ask about internships? IF I DO, THEN MY STOMACH WILL DROP OUT OF MY BODY AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO DIGEST ANYTHING AND DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY INEVITABLE DEATH?). Knowing me, I'd much rather do stuff alone - a consequence of being an introvert, I guess.
As an example of how much we differ on this: Earlier in the week, she proposed the idea that I travel a lot over summer break to work on my writing and have some stories to possibly pitch to travel writing companies when I get back. I got excited and started looking into flights to Europe (fun fact: it's apparently really cheap to fly to Oslo).
I was thinking that she wanted me to do the whole discovering-oneself-as-one-treks-alone-and-learning-self-confidence type thing. She had in mind that I would find a tour group for college students and sign up with that. Neither one is wrong, per se - it just depends on what is right for the individual. For my mom, it would be great to have a group that's already planned and ready to go; half the adventure is meeting the people and seeing the sights with the group she's sharing it with. That's perfectly fine - if that's your adventure, go for it.
Though that can be fun, I think I need to take a different. For me, I think it would be a bigger adventure to fly into Oslo without any Norwegian in my head and to figure out my way from there. There's no way to conquer one's fears than to do it when there's absolutely no other choice. Isn't that what my mother wants, anyway - to let me be able to talk to people better?
There's a lot of different ways to travel. Traveling in a group is more of an extrovert's thing; since I'm an introvert, going around alone is better for me. There's nothing wrong with either or even a combination of both. I understand that going in a group allows for more accountability, but sometimes the leap is part of the growth. No matter what I wind up doing this summer, I hope to be able to open up more.
Showing posts with label free time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free time. Show all posts
Friday, March 28, 2014
Monday, July 15, 2013
On Goals and the Supervillains to Productivity
The last few weeks, I've realized, I've been in a bit of a writing rut. I just don't know what to write about - nothing of the creative spark I had in high school has decided to manifest itself.
It's easy to point fingers at certain situations.
I've spent a year in college, away from a secure environment where I'm allowed to manifest my creativity. I actually have to get up every day on my own, get myself to the dining hall, get myself to class, stick myself in the library for a few hours a day, go to clubs and service events and a bunch of activities that take up time I could normally use for writing. Now I've been around lots of people who take 'no' for an answer, who allow themselves to make excuses, and maybe don't push themselves to 100 % capacity. At the end of my senior year, I definitely felt like I was not that sort of person - I was the one who, with half a glass of coffee and a few pens, was determined to do what I needed to do to get stuff done.
But, shifting over to this summer in particular, the increase in free time has lead, I think, to a decrease in motivation for doing stuff like writing, but also other things. I admit, my summer diet is not exactly healthy. I hardly eat breakfast, and lunch is normally fruit, goldfish, and trail mix. Sometimes not even that much. I can see why my parents have started to get on my back about things like getting out of the house and seeing people and having some sort of structure to the day - it helps a lot with productivity. The danger, of course, is that the mindset of Eternal Free Time - only having to leave the couch and my yarn to get some more food or to maybe go for a run in the evening, and nothing in between - is the worst enemy of productivity; I might even contest that it's ranked higher on the Supervillain list than procrastination. At least with procrastination, you can recognize that you actually have a goal in mind, but you're just choosing not to pursue it. With Eternal Free Time, the original existence of a goal is questionable.
As the next big chunk of free time looms over the horizon, I realize that I need to refocus my goals - and make sure that the goals are established in the first place. That's the real trick to getting any sort of anything done.
It's easy to point fingers at certain situations.
I've spent a year in college, away from a secure environment where I'm allowed to manifest my creativity. I actually have to get up every day on my own, get myself to the dining hall, get myself to class, stick myself in the library for a few hours a day, go to clubs and service events and a bunch of activities that take up time I could normally use for writing. Now I've been around lots of people who take 'no' for an answer, who allow themselves to make excuses, and maybe don't push themselves to 100 % capacity. At the end of my senior year, I definitely felt like I was not that sort of person - I was the one who, with half a glass of coffee and a few pens, was determined to do what I needed to do to get stuff done.
But, shifting over to this summer in particular, the increase in free time has lead, I think, to a decrease in motivation for doing stuff like writing, but also other things. I admit, my summer diet is not exactly healthy. I hardly eat breakfast, and lunch is normally fruit, goldfish, and trail mix. Sometimes not even that much. I can see why my parents have started to get on my back about things like getting out of the house and seeing people and having some sort of structure to the day - it helps a lot with productivity. The danger, of course, is that the mindset of Eternal Free Time - only having to leave the couch and my yarn to get some more food or to maybe go for a run in the evening, and nothing in between - is the worst enemy of productivity; I might even contest that it's ranked higher on the Supervillain list than procrastination. At least with procrastination, you can recognize that you actually have a goal in mind, but you're just choosing not to pursue it. With Eternal Free Time, the original existence of a goal is questionable.
As the next big chunk of free time looms over the horizon, I realize that I need to refocus my goals - and make sure that the goals are established in the first place. That's the real trick to getting any sort of anything done.
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