The end of Break

Well, once again, it's super late and I'm unsure about what to post about. Though this week has been quite nice - I've gotten a lot of things together, including summer ideas (the internship didn't work out) and other day-to-day things. I've also caught up on sleep, which is nice. I've also explored a lot of recipes that can be made in mugs. (Lime cake (based off of lemon cake because we don't have lemon extract) is good).

I think the main thing I need to realize is that I need to break out of my shell more. I know that's a really strange statement to make, but I think I've had a perpetual issue with shyness. I don't talk to people sometimes, even though I sometimes want to. I know my mother, at least, is frustrated with it and wants it to stop because it can sometimes hinder things (why don't I just go into the business office and ask about internships? IF I DO, THEN MY STOMACH WILL DROP OUT OF MY BODY AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO DIGEST ANYTHING AND DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY INEVITABLE DEATH?). Knowing me, I'd much rather do stuff alone - a consequence of being an introvert, I guess.

As an example of how much we differ on this: Earlier in the week, she proposed the idea that I travel a lot over summer break to work on my writing and have some stories to possibly pitch to travel writing companies when I get back. I got excited and started looking into flights to Europe (fun fact: it's apparently really cheap to fly to Oslo).
I was thinking that she wanted me to do the whole discovering-oneself-as-one-treks-alone-and-learning-self-confidence type thing. She had in mind that I would find a tour group for college students and sign up with that. Neither one is wrong, per se - it just depends on what is right for the individual. For my mom, it would be great to have a group that's already planned and ready to go; half the adventure is meeting the people and seeing the sights with the group she's sharing it with. That's perfectly fine - if that's your adventure, go for it.
Though that can be fun, I think I need to take a different. For me, I think it would be a bigger adventure to fly into Oslo without any Norwegian in my head and to figure out my way from there. There's no way to conquer one's fears than to do it when there's absolutely no other choice. Isn't that what my mother wants, anyway - to let me be able to talk to people better?

There's a lot of different ways to travel. Traveling in a group is more of an extrovert's thing; since I'm an introvert, going around alone is better for me. There's nothing wrong with either or even a combination of both. I understand that going in a group allows for more accountability, but sometimes the leap is part of the growth. No matter what I wind up doing this summer, I hope to be able to open up more.

On Spring Break

While most college students have returned to school this week, I go to a school with a January-Term and a break after, so I'm leaving in the morning.  HUZZAH!

Well, not really. Since I'm pretty much the only one from my hometown who has break this week (that I know of and who I am also willing to hang out with), it will be a week mostly of dealing with a lot of reading and writing.  For homework.  (Not for pleasure, unfortunately).  Also, internships. The stereotype, of course, is that a group of my college friends who live near me would gather and go party at the beach, but that's probably not going to happen either - if we do hang out, we'll be going downtown for a day or so because we're nerds and there's a lot of museums in our area.

Maybe that should be my spring break goal... go to a museum every day...

But, alas, HOMEWORK! GAH!

In reality, my college spring break, at least this year, is going to be fueled by getting stuff done - catching up on studying, practicing for choir tour, sending a few forms to various places, getting a haircut and stuff.  So, in other words, attempting to be a responsible adult.  It sounds horribly dull, I know.  Maybe I should try and blog every day to make it more interesting.

There is also another thing that I might be doing in April: Camp NaNoWriMo. I haven't decided whether I want to do it yet - so far, my attempts to write novels during college have wound up falling flat, by a lot. Maybe I should do Camp Finish The Novel You Started Three Years Ago Because You're Still Only Halfway Done. Or Camp Finish Writing The Story You've Been Working On For Five Years But Don't Want To Stop Because The Character Means A Lot And You Want To Bring Closure To The Story.

Intrepid readers, what camp of your own invention would you attend? Right now, I'm attending Camp Allergy, and I'm not having a very good time.

End of Finals

hello!

My apologies for not posting in... three weeks?  I should get on that.

My excuse is that in the last week, I've spent more time in the local coffee shop in a caffeine-induced stupor, trying to remember how to decline Classical Greek nouns and writing an essay about the Anasazi artifacts and Puebloan mythology in Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian. (that was the biggest stressor, because, despite my being an English major and everything... writing 10-15 pages on comparisons is difficult. Even though the topic was really cool).  Anyway, that's what I've been doing.  My last exam was this morning, so I'm packing to go home to real sleep, and hoping that I can get a lot of writing and knitting done over break.

I'm excited.

On the train home (or maybe even tonight, I don't know), I'll do a Semester Recap post.

2013!

Well, so far into 2013, I have not done very well in any of my resolutions.  Though I am moving more than I might have during school, I still do not feel like I am moving around enough.  I am still on break and I will be until Sunday; I also have a feeling that on Sunday, when I get back to school, I will start remembering what I said I would do and I will start acting on it.  Though I have done some knitting, I have been mostly working on a commission that is due when I get back (or a few days after), and it is not big enough to be called a 'huge project.'  As for my writing, I have only written one page of anything so far.  I need to work on that.
Right now, stuff is just not very interesting.  I have been knitting.  I have been reading a little bit.  I have gone on long walks and tried out new drinks at Starbucks.  I saw Les Miserables, the movie (I have a love/hate relationship with the movie; I adore the show, but I truly wish that Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe each could have had a better balance between singing and acting.  Hugh Jackman could act but struggled with voice; Russell Crowe was mostly good with singing at the cost of his acting).  Mostly, however, my activities during the holiday have consisted of sleeping late, watching junky TV, and knitting and crocheting a lot.  I saw a few friends and hung out with my boyfriend a bit, and did a college panel at my high school about the application process (for the upperclassman parents who were terrified about their child's college stuff).
So, fair readers, what have you been doing?

Day 21: in which hope for my wordcount is rapidly receding

Well, it's day 21. I should be around the 35000 word count now, but I'm still sitting morosely at 30750, and I'm not happy about it.  I'm not happy about it at all.
I should be studying.  I should be writing.  I should be doing whatever it is one does on breaks... I don't really know what that is, but I should be doing it.  I have readings and translations and tests and projects starting on Sunday night, and it's not okay.  I thought break was a time to relax, for goodness sake.
Or to catch up on all the stuff you've been missing.
Or to do something productive, like catch up on your novel's word count.
But no, I'm sitting here, blogging, and wishing I didn't have such a crap word count, and so much homework due by Tuesday.  I'm realizing how much I complain about this, and how little I actually do something about it.  It's not like I can't do anything about it, for goodness sake.  I'm an autonomous individual, or so society would have me believe.  Even if I say I'm leaving to do something productive, I normally just goof around for a while before I actually make any headway in anything.
Which kind of sucks, when you think about it.  Just being a goof all the time.  It gets nothing done.
It doesn't help that I have commissions due, too.  Yep, I have to knit four scarves in three and a half weeks, because it's not like I don't have a ton of stuff already.

Right, I really need to stop complaining.  I took my leave today and yesterday - I hung out with my friend earlier today and my boyfriend before that; yesterday, I didn't actually get much homework done and pranced around my empty hall with a friend, singing Christmas music at the top of our voices and not caring that it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet, and posting random videos on our other blog, and doing stuff of a highly nonproductive nature.
It was great.
But now it's time to work.  The funtime has ended, and it's time to actually do something.  Time to stop trolling along online and not writing or studying or anything.